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我的心情起伏 - 内心世界 - 感情地带 <BGSOUND SRC="">







*Saturday, September 30, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

emo me.

im seriously aint happy with my life now.

all of a sudden i feel the emptiness so strong
too strong that i can hardly handle my feelings
and cry my heart out.

oh, i felt AIMLESS too. how PATHETIC. =(

all i did is shed a few tears here and there.
too tired to even cry.
tired of every single thing.


i need to get a job that i love.
to be the goal of my life.


i need to be more focus about my future.

my future's a bleak man. fuck.

maybe a job i love will complete me.
see how.


ugh. getting all so emo in the middle of the night.
oops. no it's dawn. freak. sighs.

im vvvv sad abt myself, my life, things ard me.
SIGHS.


can someone enlighten me?
maybe i can find some answers in the Bible?
hmm..

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 6:46 AM. 0 comments

*Friday, September 22, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

it will be me.

If you hear ur voice
in the middle of the night
say you later be alright

it will be me
if you feel it hard
guiding you along
when the path seems wrong

it will be me
there is no mountain
that i cant climb
for you i swim through the river of time

as you go ur way
and i go mine
a light will shine
it will be me

it will be me
it will be me

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 6:49 PM. 0 comments

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

grr.

i seriously cant stand ppl who are

full of themselves
insensitive
overly-selfish
self-centered


Ughh!!
im super pissed off. pui.





hmm..
it's only through comparison
then you know who is the better one.
need to look out for more.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 3:06 AM. 0 comments

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

broke

ah haha. i feel so broke. bleh.

been eating subway like mad.
almost everyday. i think im gonna die. LOLs.
and each subway + meal is so freaking EX! cries.

been pigging out. hahas.
slacking outside is a kind of wasting money too.
hurr. gosh. and u got to buy drinks to sit there.
drinks need $. hahahas.

okok. i ought to get a job.
but its not easy you know. hmm.


every things boil down to $. =((
alrights. shall be good to get a job next week.
die die must find one i like den work for a while.
hehs, yah awhile. =x


or anyone wanna support me?
LOLs. im nt hard to maintain.
just give me good 3 meals will do. =))
oh yah and some Cash to spend. hahahah!

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 2:00 AM. 0 comments

*Monday, September 18, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

food feast.

today is a fat fat day. gosh.
sian. must cut down already. ate too much.
haha. but then it's still fun eating.



oh yah.
we had subway in the noon.
alright, Oven roasted chicken breast Rocks.
been eating that for god-knows how long. haha.
subway is addictive i swear. LOLs.


movie after that. PULSE.
hmm it's quite a nice show thou.

some kinda of virus created by two hackers that caused the world disruption. the virus got spreaded to the entire network around the town. you get near to invisible, indefinite shape humans going ard trying to get you killed. when u faced those "ghost" you got infected by the virus and u will turn into ashes after some time ......."

haha. my saying might be quite boring la. but u can watch it urself. LOLS.
had nachos. and poor bamboo now sick again. ahh. haha.
drink more water la. and eat panadol. hehs. out again soon k. haha.



went PP with her after that for her interview.
some lame starhub shop. haha. only got shops in MP & WEST side.
faints right. why no east side. else i sure work. haha.



had sumptuous meal at Sakae Sushi. slurps.
but then.. it's still nt as great as Genki.
hmm.. Sakae lacks a few kinds of food that Genki offers.
and the food are not as attractive. haha!

but still.. we had a great time eating there.
all it cost is $21.45 wootz.
read Miss Bamboo's blog for details. LOLs.



i finally bought blank cds.
so so so im gonna burn all the L words out. heh!
and other shows that i want.


hmm people, any shows to intro???!!!





i feel so fat again.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 8:38 PM. 0 comments

*Sunday, September 17, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

maybe.. its aint the same.

maybe things really changed
and i think the feelings arent the same.

im extremely disappointed in myself
thinking things will be the same
many things really arent the way it is


maybe i shall stop staying up hoping u will come online
i feel its dumb.
and when u come online, we hardly talk. im unhappy abt it.



the higher the expectations
the higher the disappointment


maybe right from the start
i shldnt even think of anything

maybe right from the start
i shldnt even ask u to online

maybe right from the start
i shldnt have even remembered you.


maybe right from the start..


maybe..
its all my fault


i ought to be smarter.




after so much had happened after u left,
i've changed.
my feelings had became something like a tap.
i can on and off as and when i like. that's it.
i'd became more decisive with regard to matter of heart.
i'll avoid all things that make me feel hurt.
im starting to protect myself all over again.

wait till i mentioned the final word
till then..
im still liking you..

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 9:07 PM. 0 comments

*Thursday, September 14, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

i must be happy.

i guess i ought to sleep early, really.

im so tired, yawns.
but im happy. =))



movie tml monday. woohoo.
its been soooo long i watched movie.
hehS. happy. =)
PULSE. hope it will be nice. hehs.





nothing much. shall blog more when more thoughts.










dumb finally came online. hehs. =)
and.. it's been so long that we chat. hahas.
somehow.. it's still the same. ha.


hmm i really think u're bad.
not say im very nice but still.. hahas.

by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 8:44 PM. 0 comments

*Tuesday, September 12, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

isly, you know?

i had such a weird dream.

i dreamt that Ny reply my msg regarding the Teachers' day gift.
the dream is not clear enough for me to provide details
and it's sarcastic enough to make me feel the sadness.
but it goes something like...

she refused to acknowledge my reason for giving her the gift.
just because im nt her student anymore.
she refused to acknowledge the gift.
just because she refused to accept any gifts from ME.
she gave real sarcastic replies in every messages.


i guess.. she just dont want to do anything related to me. sighs.


i vivdly remember that sentence:
dont give me gifts anymore. bye.

i hate that bye at the end. dont ever say bye to me. hurr.
the feeling is so real.
be it bad or good memories, every single bit, i will remember.
etched in my heart.. forever. =)



ngcmlfy.
ilu, ny.
ietbgasc, iwtsicwy. imttwst.
=(

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 8:01 PM. 0 comments

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

if only im younger.. at heart.

the amt of time, love and effort contributed
might not always get reciprocate.

suddenly i realise..


there's only one.. that i got love in turn for what i'd given.



is it really true that time will change a person's heart?
do we really have to keep giving..
till a day the person u love, will love you back?
what if it never happens? isnt it a waste of time? hurr.


as much as i wish to continue giving,
however i know that matter of facts will never change
so it's right in my previous entry to say,
i Chose to give up.



i used to be very determined and patient over such issues.
however, my patience and energy kind of used up over the years.



i really hope that i have the energy to wait..
till the day you changed your mind, your heart
but i doubt i have the strength anymore.
giving up is the only choice, to stop my tiredness.




i wish im still as enthusiastic and energetic as before.
too bad. my heart's getting older and weaker.
maybe it's all not meant to be.
and it's all a mistake. our path shldnt have cross ever since.
ever since the day i stop liking you.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 2:41 AM. 0 comments

*Monday, September 11, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

sadded smiles.

constant nagging is cracking my head.
hahas. im a bad bad girl. =p




anyhow, i gonna have my new set of bed and furniture soon
yippy. im happy.
and it's hazelnut color, woohoo.
and a queen-size bed. =))

will post up pictures when i have taken them.
hehe. =D














flashed back of what had happened
suddenly, dumbass, i miss you so. do u know?
i miss the times when ur heart still with me. =(








and for you, now, i think
im gonna stop all these dreamings
and get back to reality.









u're just arent good. a bad listener.
and im nowhere found in ur heart. =(
that show how much u pay attention to me.
i gave up. sighs.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 2:58 PM. 0 comments

*Friday, September 08, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

hoping for..

finally, i went for kbox. not klunch thou.
goodness, i love marina kbox. i think the place is nice
and the system etc apart from the penguin keep appearing.
bamboo, hor? damn irritating penguinS. LOLs.

i miss the mushroom balls there
and i want to try the salmon cheesesticks. =D
will have a go with those the next visit.



and and and..
i think i gonna be more feminine in time to come.
ha, i had to plan to hw to be a girl. lols.
i have alot of worries and things to think you know!!
bamboo knows. whahaha.

actually i love wearing dresses. i think it's sweet and nice.
i like those ultra feminine office wears. it's cool.

alrights alrights
jian fei oks. =(





there are times i really dunno what im thinking.
what do i really want, in life and from some ppl in my life.
or.. what can i give?
they are important yet i dunno how to make them feel loved, by me.
what shld i do and what can i do??


im such a insecure freak.
maybe im an attention seeker too, only to those i loved.
im ignorant, simple-minded which ppl dont think i appear so
and then they got so disgusted with it.
im irritating becoz i always need assurance and i always felt..
they dont treat me as i am supposed to be treated. why?
becoz... im insecure.
im there and i asked, just to show i care and im not cant be bothered,
i want to share ur troubles but who knows my true intentions?
one nosey poker i am?
i loved all my Friends, else they were never to start with.
i have my faults, i know and im sorry to those who's been tolerating.
i dont mean to cause all those troubles.



现实是残酷的
就因为长得不够娇艳的我
所做得没件错事都不被包容,不是吗?
相比的,有个美丽可爱的女孩犯错事
她得到的惩罚和待遇,截然不同。


如果我长得漂亮一点。。
那该都好。。








you will never understand how i feel.
i thought of letting u know, but i see it's redundant.
no, i will not say.
im upset with myself. sighs. u're making me so tired.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 11:19 PM. 0 comments

*Thursday, September 07, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

some messages.

i guess tonight i better sleep early
i SERIOUSLY want my kbox session TML.
so Bamboo, dont put my aeroplane hor!!!
opps. does bamboo know whos bamboo? LOls.

sing sing sing. =D




im getting all so Emo watching the Taiwan drama.
"E Mo Zai Shen Bian"
my goodness, i can drop tears for ALMOST all episodes.
i think im really ki siao and stay dreaming already
dreaming of "happily ever after" kind of fairytale
and i think it's so shitty coz it will never happy in my life =/
but i swear the show rocks. uber nice. =))




exam's period for some people
and last sem for those who are graduating from poly
all the best alrights. fight it all out and u'll be fine. =))
jiayou ppl.


















after ur As, hope we can still go out as before alrights.
and i still want u as my buddy. hope u know that.
sorry and take good care. hugs. cheers. jiayou


you know, you know
of all the ppl i like
you are the only one that i felt so real liking
and the hurt at the very moment
is so deep and painful that it kept me sad for quite some time.
you know who you are. dumbass.


i think im surprised and disgusted with ur character
you arent a little bit of what i expected to be
so disappointing
but at least i did the right thing and kept my stand well
so much of pretty words.


if you had pay more attention on me
i believed things might be diff compare to now
maybe i'll love you so much more.
but at the end of the day..the fact is..
things had changed so does the feelings.
i dont know what i can give you now.


seriously, i just want to treasure whatever i have now
because i dont know what tomorrow will brings
and i want to make sure the times with u are treasured
so well.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 10:25 PM. 0 comments

*Wednesday, September 06, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

ponders

PMSsy period.
dont provoke me.
AHHH CRAMPS AH!!!


hurr.
so tired. sleep how much also tired. idiot man.



I WANT mY KBOX!!!
still haven fulfil my crave
but im in no mood to sing.
but still ask me go k?
i might change my mind. HAHA!











if the feelings for you ever rekindle
what shld i do?
will there ever be a chance? hmm =/
maybe i'll just stay put.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 6:52 PM. 0 comments

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

randomly smiles.

i find it so hard to be gentle and nice to you
like how i treat her.

so which is the real me?
when im with her?
or
when im with you?


i wont really give a thinking about it
perhaps.. i refused to make a decision
anyway it's nt as thou my decision is impt. =)




thou the time is short
i enjoyed the time with you. (:

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 12:23 AM. 0 comments

*Tuesday, September 05, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

to be a happy girl.=D

i pray..

and i hope today will be a fine and happy day. =)



Klunch session with her.
rocks can. woohoo. =))


the session is a bluff though.
we didnt go in the end. boohoo.





time with her.. i swear i'll treasure it every second.




nothing much gg on.
been busy watching Taiwan drama series on Youtube.
cool mans.
"E Zuo Ju Zhi Wen"
"E Mo Zai Sheng Bian"
both rocks max. hee.

who knows anymore nice shows?? tell me oks.
hmm.. wondering shld i buy Vcds of the both shows
i think both are very very nice and i wish to keep.
think think think. =/

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 12:46 AM. 0 comments

*Monday, September 04, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

Say U Love Me

Say that you love me
Say that you care

(女)遇到对的人 是种缘分
我不得不承认 女生还是该要有分寸
你要去瞄准 你要的人
不再被动的等 送上嘴唇变成你的人

(RAP)我认识一个女孩她天真活泼可爱
在等待 有个人可以给她一身三千宠爱
不需要很有钱 不需要很帅
他脾气古怪 有时候包容有时候 你必须忍耐
为什么 她竟然爱上他 到底 在想什么
她是否忘了帅哥不能爱
是什么 让她乱了方寸
不知道该做什么
我想说着怎么可能
她舍得 舍弃自己的尊严与爱好
女追男的游戏 一点都不害臊
一天到晚在他身边又闹又吵
只为了能够被他瞪一眼就好
看她在这边 而他在那边
她想被他捧在手心上面
而他装做视而不见
脑袋中却浮现 眼前尽是她在微笑的画面
而她说

(女)遇到对的人 是种缘分
我不得不承认 女生还是该要有分寸
你要去瞄准 你要的人
不再被动的等 送上嘴唇变成你的人

Say that you love me
Say that you care

(女)女生还是该要有分寸
遇到对的人 不得不承认

Say that you love me
Say that you care

(女)不再被动的等 送上嘴唇变成你的人

(RAP)从头来过 也快了不要难过
不要谎言要承诺 他和她的爱情却不懒惰
就算有不安定的因素随时出没
他也能排除万难和她一起度过
度过这漫漫长涛浩难
连春风春风吹到的心中心中竟是我现的感动
她不自觉注意他任何的一举一动
才发现自己 早已不小心产生集中
他知道 我想是他知道
所有他的一切她都知道
她看到了他如此掏肺掏心
心里早就想把她抱紧
不管未来艰难闲事再多
只管现在能够相爱再说
想一起完成的事情太多
就怕时间不够
而她说

(女)遇到对的人 是种缘分
我不得不承认 女生还是该要有分寸
你要去瞄准 你要的人
不再被动的等 送上嘴唇变成你的人

Say that you love me
Say that you care

(女)女生还是该要有分寸
遇到对的人 不得不承认

Say that you love me
Say that you care

(女)不再被动的等 送上嘴唇变成你的人

Say that you love me
Say that you care
Say that you love me
Say that you care



By Jason & Lara

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 3:34 PM. 0 comments

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

hmmm..

its my bad, sorry.


and...
my mind is blank
as well as my heart.


welldone.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 12:55 AM. 0 comments